He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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