Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize