Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize