420 ftw
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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