no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
