A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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