sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
