evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
