Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
