Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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