I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
