I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
