Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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