the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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