I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
