:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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