I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
