Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
