my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
