My nipple is on Facebook.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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