just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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