I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
