Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
