your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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