Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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