Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
