i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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