So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize