We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize