I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
