OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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