he wants to bone in the snuggie
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
