It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
