Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
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He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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