So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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