We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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