okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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