I wanna bring you to show and tell
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
