Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
