Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was born a porn star she said
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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