I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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