Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
