Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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