We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
