I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
