Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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