So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
