i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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