hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
