eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
