I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
