i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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