ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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