i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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