with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
